Grumbling, Isolation, and Sound Judgment

[This entry follows a sermon titled, "Work Out Your Own Salvation, Part 2."]

This past Sunday, we studied Philippians 2:14-16 together.  Having told the Philippians church that they must "work out their own salvation with fear and trembling" (v. 12), the apostle Paul goes on to give them a practical example of how they might do this: "do all things without grumbling or questioning" (v. 14).  This was particularly pertinent in Philippi because division was beginning to rear its ugly head in the congregation.  However, God's design is not that local churches would merely exist and function; rather, churches should exist and function in unity.  This means our relationships with one another in the church are very important.

 

From the beginning, human relationships have been important, as God has made us as relational beings.  Distinct from all other animals, human beings have a unique capacity for relationships both with other human beings and with God.  This capacity is part of what it means to be made in God's image (Gen. 1:26-27).  After God said that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18), it was discovered that there was no suitable partner in all the animal kingdom for Adam.  Only another human being would do, so God made Eve.  God establishes the family as the cornerstone of society.

 

Later, Abraham is called out to be the progenitor of a new nation.  This nation would be God's people...a people having distinct relationships with God and with one another.  As the Lord Jesus carried out His earthly ministry, He did so in the company of twelve men.  Then, through His death, resurrection, ascension, and the sending of His Spirit, Jesus established His church.  He did not merely establish a religious system in which individuals are reconciled to God; He established a community of believers.  One day, all Christians from all times will be finally and forever gathered to live on the new earth, living in perfect relationship with God and one another.

 

It is this big picture that makes it unwise and unbiblical to look at relationships as disposable.  It is also this big picture that brings me to the main thrust of this week's blog.  When we consider grumbling and questioning, we must consider that it leads to separation.  It separates brothers and sisters in the church.  Grumbling and questioning isolates us from one another, and it is with this in mind that I want us all to consider the teaching of one of Solomon's proverbs.

 

"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment" (Proverbs 18:1).  Though man was created to be relational, the presence of sin means we tend to isolate ourselves.  First, our sin isolates us from God.  Second, our sin isolates us from one another because it brings with it conflict and strife to our relationships.  This can happen in the home, at work, in friendships, in societies...it can even happen in the local church.

 

Solomon's words ring as true today as the day he first penned them.  Isolation from others is the result of seeking our own.  In the movie Finding Forrester, Sean Connery plays a famous author who lives as a recluse, living in isolation to escape society.  He never goes outside (except to clean the exterior of his windows).  He has his groceries delivered...the whole nine yards.  He decided at some point that regular contact with other human beings was too much for him, so he isolated himself...he sought his own desire.

 

You and I may not be recluses, but we still may see to isolate ourselves from others.  Some of us keep our friends at arm's length, so they will not see the real me...the sinful me...the struggling me.  Instead, they will see the happy me, the spiritual me, the best version of me.  In doing this, I am seeking my own desire to not be diminished in the eyes of others.  You know, Facebook is perfectly designed for such an approach to relationships.  It gives me the ability to put forward the "me" I want others to see...without anyone really knowing me.  It can give the illusion of relationship while remaining essentially isolated.

 

Some Christians decide to isolate themselves from the church...a concept absolutely foreign to New Testament doctrine.  However, they think that with TV and mp3s and online tools, the physical gathering of the church is not needed.  After all, I can get much better preaching online than in my local church (I don't argue).  Others determine that since there is no church where all my preferences are met, I have no need of the church.  And...I know some Christians at work, at school, or at the gym.  So, I have relationships with other Christians.  That's all I really need.  This is seeking my own desire.

 

Other Christians live an isolated existence by hopping from one church to another.  This is not unlike the one who keeps friends at arm's length.  The person or family spends a few weeks, a few months, or a few years at a church, but once I start feeling a bit "blah" about the congregation or the leadership or whatever it may be, I feel it's time to move on.  We may have the same relationship with the church that we have with our local grocery store.  As long as the product and the cost fit my needs, I stay.  Again...seeking one's own desire.

 

Let me mention one more.  There are still other Christians who may tend to remain isolated without ever leaving a particular local church.  We come to corporate gatherings such as this, but we do not care to involve ourselves in relationships...or serve in ministries...or concern ourselves with the business of the church...or whatever the case may be.  We are all together...yet alone.  Still seeking one's own desire.

 

This proverb speaks boldly to all these kinds of isolation, saying that "whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."  So, what does this have to do with grumbling and questioning?  Well, think about the reasons why we grumble.  I mentioned two on Sunday: (1) we don't get what we want, or (2) our expectations go unmet.

 

When we don't get what we want or our expectations go unmet, we must respond, and there are two main responses.  We will either respond with the kind of contentment that trusts God's sovereignty in all situations, or we will respond by grumbling and questioning.  If we grumble, we seek our own desires with such conviction that we are willing to isolate ourselves from others.  Left uncorrected, this passionate pursuit of my own desires can lead to radical amputation of relationships.

 

What I want can become so important to me that I am willing to sacrifice my relationship with you or anyone else who stands in the way of what I want.  My heart is open to sinful bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice, where I should be kind and tenderhearted (Eph. 4:32).  I am willing to grumble, I am willing to hold grudges, I am willing to walk away from the church where God has placed me...and all because I do not get what I want.  To paraphrase the proverb: we seek our own desire and isolate ourselves.

 

Now, what's the big deal?  The big deal is that Solomon didn't stop with just describing the relationships between isolation and our desires.  He goes on to say that the one who does these types of things "breaks out against all sound judgment."  What is this sound judgment?  It's God's judgment.  And God tells us that we are to seek to live peaceably with all men (Rom. 12:18).  With that in mind, grumbling and questioning must be put to death by the power of the Spirit (Rom. 8:13).

 

The only way we will do this is to learn how to hold to our own desires and expectations: loosely.  My desires and my expectations cannot be ultimate; they must be subordinate to the purposes of God.  In many cases, they must be placed in submission to those whom God has placed in authority over us.  This brings the place of prayer to the forefront.  We must cry out to God to give us the grace necessary to live in this way, and the good news is that God is at work in us, "both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13).

 

One last thing – If you commit yourself to do all things without grumbling or questioning, it is almost certain that you will soon find yourself not getting what you want...having your expectations unmet.  God will superintend our lives to show us where we must continue to repent...continue to live by faith.  And we can do so, looking to Jesus, who did all things without grumbling or complaining, including facing the wrath of God on the cross.  His perfect "doing" is credited to us through faith, and we can never add to that righteous standing before God.  So, we can work hard at working out our own salvation without relying on our own hard work.  And that's what we must do...for God's glory and for our growth.

Helping Others Interpret Life Biblically

[This entry follows a sermon titled "Interpreting Life Biblically."]

As we studied Philippians 1:12-26 on Sunday, we saw that Paul interpreted his past, present, and future biblically.  He was constantly wanting to see his life through the lens of the Bible, and we were all challenged to do the same.

If I am going to see life with a biblical lens, then I am going to need help.  One thing that is true about interpreting life biblically is that we typically have an easier time interpreting other people's lives more accurately and honestly than we do our own.  We may look at the trials of others, knowing that if only they understood God's purposes in their trials, they would have such great hope!  Yet, we look in the mirror at our own trials, and all we want is to get out of them.  We want to escape more than we want strength to endure.  This is why we need help to interpret our lives biblically.

Think about it this way.  If the TV is getting blurry...if I have to squint to read (and then get a headache afterward)...if seeing while driving at night is getting harder...I have to look outside myself to get the problem fixed.  I go to the optometrist to get my eyes examined, receive a prescription for glasses, and then begin to wear them. The same is true in seeing our lives and trials and struggles and temptations clearly.  We need help from outside ourselves.  Yet, there is one great, hope-giving difference between these two. It doesn't take a doctorate, a master's degree, a Bible college degree, or a certain certification to be able to help others interpret their lives biblically. These can be helpful, if you have the ability to pursue them, but they are not necessary.

Let me explain. Paul wrote this to the Roman church: "I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another" (Rom. 15:14). The word for "instruct" in this verse is noutheteo, which means to warn...to admonish...to counsel. He's saying to this congregation that he knows they are full of goodness and knowledge...and that they are very capable of counseling one another. Do you know what makes this verse all the more astounding? Paul had never been there in person (1:10)!  So, if Paul is confident that this unknown Roman church could counsel one another, then certainly we can have confidence that, by God's grace and with His help, we can do the same.

So, what must you do if you are going to really help others interpret their lives biblically?  Let me finish by listing four commitments we must have:

• Be committed to the Bible.  You cannot help others see their lives through the lens of the Bible if you are not committed to the lens itself.  This means you must be consistently reading, studying, memorizing, meditating on, and applying God's Word.  When God calls us to "speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15), He calls us to speak His truth.  This means we must be committed to knowing His truth!
• Be committed to compassion.  When people are in the hospital, especially for serious conditions, the people they most remember are not the doctors but the nurses...good and bad.  Good and bad nurses have the same mission...carry out the doctor's orders.  The bad ones carry out orders in a cold-hearted way...get in, apply the meds, and get out!  No talking, no concern, no empathy...just a task to perform.  The good ones carry out the same orders.  They apply the same meds, and they, too, have other patients.  But they do their job with compassion...they hurt with you...they hate your pain.  Likewise, as we speak God's Word into another person's life, we are carrying out the orders of the Great Physician of Souls.  We should not just seek to get in, spout off some verses, and get out!  Rather, we should feel our brother's pain with him and minister the Word with compassion.
• Be committed to the relationship.  The trials of life are often times when spiritual warfare is at its strongest.  This means helping your friend interpret the events of her life through the lens of the Bible will not be easy.  Your friend may go back and forth in her interpretation of life.  Sometimes it's biblical; other times it's just downright selfish and worldly.  There will be times when she doesn't want to hear anything you say, and other times, she will need to hear biblical hope like a thirsty man in the desert.  Whatever may come, remember, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Prov. 17:17).
• Be committed to your own spiritual growth.  As I said earlier, it is often easier to help others see life from God's perspective than it is to see our own lives that way.  At times, when I am in the middle of helping other people with their problems, God confronts me with my own counsel!  For example, I may be speaking of a husband's need to do this or that, and all the while, it's as if God is saying to me: "Toby, can't you see that this is what I want from you?"  When God graciously shows me my flawed perspective, I intentionally take time to repent.  Sometimes, I'll even confess what just happened to the person I'm talking with...it helps them know that they're not alone!  So, don't be surprised when your words to others hit home in your own heart.  And when they do, listen...grow...and change!

Recognizing Evidences of Grace

[This entry follows a sermon titled "Paul's Confidence and Concern."]

There are times when we all struggle in our journey of spiritual growth.  Times we feel stagnant.  Times we think we're going backward rather than forward.  Times when we unwisely compare ourselves with brothers and sisters in our church, wondering why we aren't as spiritually mature as that person.  These times can even lead to times of wrestling with whether or not we are really Christians.

Before we turn back to Philippians 1:3-11 to find another way to encourage others who struggle, let me, once again, address those who feel they are struggling even now.  First of all, there is something healthy about the struggle.  There is something healthy about the discontent you feel regarding your spiritual growth.

I remember reading Don Whitney's Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health.  As Whitney mentioned spiritual disciplines, he warned against the idea of "microwave spirituality."  This is the notion that we can just push a particular button and very, very quickly grow in Christlikeness.  In that same section, he quotes R.C. Sproul's book The Soul's Quest for God: "There are no quick and easy paths to spiritual maturity.  The soul that seeks a deeper level of maturity must be prepared for a long, arduous task.  If we are to seek the kingdom of God, we must abandon any formulae that promise instant spiritual gratification."

Because spiritual growth is a "long, arduous task," we should not be surprised when we feel that it is taking longer than we expected.  We should not fret when growth seems harder than we thought it would be.  It is long because we have far to travel to truly be like Jesus.  It is arduous because all along the way, we fight against the world, the flesh, and the devil.

Yet, there is hope.  There is hope when the path of spiritual growth seems too long or too hard, and we see a piece of that hope in Philippians 1:3-11.  Paul declares, with great confidence, that "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (v. 6).  God began the work in you, He is completing it, and He will complete it.  Of this, we can be confident.  And in this, we find hope when the journey is a "long, arduous task."

We can speak these kinds of words to our brothers and sisters who are struggling in their own spiritual growth.  But there is more in this text.  This is not the only source of encouragement that Paul gives the Philippian Christians.  The other way we can encourage one another when struggling with spiritual growth is to intentionally recognize evidences of grace.

Now, what are evidences of grace?  They are, quite simply, the evidences that God's grace is at work in another person.  They are the evidences that God has begun a good work and that God is continuing His good work.  Let me give some examples:

• Love for God, His Word, other Christians, neighbors, enemies...seen in words and in actions
• Enduring the trials of life while looking to God for strength and grace, trusting His purposes
• Godly sorrow that leads to repentance when he sins
• Remaining faithful to Christ, to the gospel, to the church, and to holiness in the face of opposition from family, friends, or co-workers
• A biblical approach to his family life, work life, social life...all of life
• Being quicker to confess sin against others and forgive the sin of others against him
• His decision-making process is driven by what the Word says and getting counsel from the godly people around him
• Etc.

The list could go on, but these are the kinds of things that indicate newness of life.  We cannot know the heart of another person, but we can and should recognize the evidence displayed in their lives.  In warning His followers about false prophets, Jesus said this: "So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit.  A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus you will recognize them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:17-20).

What is happening when we rebuke another person?  We are recognizing fruits that are inconsistent with who they are in Christ.  What is happening when we talk to others about the evidences of grace in their lives?  We are recognizing fruits that are consistent with God's work of grace in their lives.  Paul does this in three ways, and we should take this as an example of how to encourage others.

First, in verse 5, Paul rejoices because of their "partnership in the gospel from the first day until now."  He is not simply thankful for their financial support of his missionary efforts, though he is that.  He is recognizing that they are committed to fellowship with an apostle of Jesus Christ in a day when apostles were not celebrated but stoned.  If you walked into the Philippian branch of the postal service, you would likely find Paul's face on a "Wanted" poster.  Yet, the Philippian Christians were committed to him.

D.A. Carson remarks that the word "fellowship," in our day, has been watered down to mean warm friendship between people at a formal or informal event.  It doesn't even have to be Christian.  Non-Christians talk about having "fellowship" with one another.  To counter this notion, Carson continues, "The heart of true fellowship is self-sacrificing conformity to a shared vision" (p. 16, Basics for Believers).  The vision shared by Paul and the Philippians was a gospel vision...a vision of men and women from all peoples, languages, tribes, and tongues believing the gospel and serving the Lord Jesus Christ.  And this kind of commitment to the gospel...a commitment that shares the vision and shares resources to make the vision a reality...this is an evidence of God's grace at work in them.

Second, Paul says that the Philippians did not simply get off to a good start and then fade away.  They are persevering in their commitment to the gospel and to gospel ministry.  Notice in verse 7, they are partakers of grace "both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel."  Even when opposition came their way, the Christians in Philippi persevered in their commitment to Christ and to His gospel and to His apostle.

This kind of endurance is another evidence of grace.  In the parable of the sower, Jesus talks about seeds that are sown on rocky ground.  These are people who hear the Word and immediately receive it with joy.  However, in the face of opposition, tribulation, or persecution, they fall away, proving they were not truly rooted in the gospel (cf. Mark 4:1-20).

For those who are parents, this is one way to tell if the faith your child professes has taken root.  When he/she hits the teen years, there is typically an increase in opposition to the gospel.  Other teens are exploring all kinds of philosophies and lifestyles, and it is often in middle and high school that other children will voice opposition to your child's professed faith.  What happens then can be an indicator of whether the gospel has taken root.  It is certainly true that a teen's love of debate or stubborn desire to be right may mean not giving up in an argument.  However, opposition typically exposes whether the professed faith is a genuine faith (cf. 1 Peter 1:6-7).

The Philippians did not fall away in the face of opposition.  As we read the rest of the letter, we see that the opposition remains, and Paul will encourage them to continue to persevere.  But, for now, he is recognizing that they have persevered to this point.

We see a third and final evidence of grace in verse 9.  Here, Paul has begun to tell them what he prays on their behalf.  He prays they will grow in love, in knowledge, and in discernment, so that they will make wise choices and live holy lives.  However, there is a little piece of grace evidence tucked inside this wonderful prayer for spiritual growth.  It's the possessive pronoun before the word "love."

Paul does not pray that "love may abound" but that "your love may abound."  That little word makes a huge difference!  Paul is saying that the kind of love that should be abounding in the congregation is already present.  They are not devoid of love.  He is not praying that they would begin doing something they have neglected to this point.  He is praying that the love they already have for one another, which is an evidence of God's grace in their lives, will abound more and more.

So, Paul recognizes God's grace (1) in their gospel fellowship, (2) in their perseverance in the face of opposition, and (3) in their love for one another.  One last thing...how do you do that with other people?  How are you going to be able to recognize the evidence of grace in others?  How can you encourage others in ways that are real and meaningful rather than sounding superficial and generic...like a Hallmark card?  We should want to answer these kinds of questions because we are commanded to encourage one another, and we want that encouragement to be meaningful.

Here's the first step to recognizing the evidences of grace in others...in being able to give more meaningful encouragement to one another.  It will seem simple, but it may also feel very difficult and too time-consuming.  Here it goes: "We must know one another if we are going to recognize evidences of grace in one another."  I told you it was simple.  You can't recognize evidences of grace in someone you don't know...or someone with whom you only talk about the weather, sports, and politics.

If our relationships with one another do not remain and grow deeper over time, then we have no ability to see and encourage spiritual growth in one another.  Not only that, but receiving this kind of encouragement from strangers or acquaintances is not nearly as meaningful as receiving it from those who truly know you.  If I've seen you fail in an area of your life for some time and then recognize growth in that area, then you will be more blessed when you hear me say so.  I'll say it again: We must know one another if we are going to recognize evidences of grace in one another.

It's simple, yet seemingly difficult.  We fill our lives with tasks and activities, and as a result, many of our relationships remain superficial.  We don't have time for people; we don't have energy for people; we don't want to deal with people.  We can too easily settle for small talk in the church foyer, when biblical relationships in the church must go deeper.  You need others to see into your life, and others need you to see into theirs.

When Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, he said this: "And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all" (1 Thessalonians 5:14).  As you look around at your relationships in the local church, do you know the idle that need to be admonished?  Do you know the fainthearted that need to be encouraged?  Do you know the weak who need your help?  Brothers and sisters, if local churches are to be what God has called them to be, then we must seek to know one another and encourage one another by recognizing the evidences of God's amazing grace.